I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
