thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
