we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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