.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize
