Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
He felt like a one man threesome
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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