carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
50% drunk capacity currently
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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