Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
