To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
