So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
