What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
i will never coherently bang her
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize