its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize
