Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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