:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?�
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
