guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
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