SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
