Swine flu. Run for my life!
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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