There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
