Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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