ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
