I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
