My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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