Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Randomize
