I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Randomize
