haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
