Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
there is glitter all over my balls
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
