i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
