I'm laying in your front yard are you home
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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