saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
