Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
