6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Randomize
