Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
