ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
