I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
organizing the empties. That sober.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
