I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
