Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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