i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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