Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
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