New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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