It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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