Define "chronic" masturbator.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
