i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
