eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
i think my cat just said my name.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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