does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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