why didn't you poke me back
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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