so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
