i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Randomize
