I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
