just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
