I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
