We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
