Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
