Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
