why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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